We Are Not Gemüsed (LIVE) Podcast #5!

Check it out, another edition of the podcast edition of my live comedy open stage, We Are Not Gemüsed! Doing great sets in this episode: Joe Able, Joe Barron, Drew Portnoy, Neil Numb, The Telson Brothers, Georg Kammerer, and Perry Filippeos. Great recording job by my co-producer Caroline Clifford, also big ups to Chris Glen for mastering.

5 Questions w/ Tamer Kattan

tamerTamer Kattan is an Egypt-born professional stand-up comedian from Los Angeles currently working in London. He stopped by Berlin this past week and was nice enough to interview my friend Rey Melara and I for his podcast “What’s Wrong with Tamer Kattan?”, so I thought I’d return the favor and ask a couple Qs for the old (new) blog here.

Hi Tamer! I want to avoid the usual who/what/where of other comedian interviews and ask you some non-traditional questions. These may seem like “negative” questions but I think the answers could be interesting. Here we go!

1. Who is your LEAST favorite comedian and why?
I think of comedy like music. There’s different types. All have their audience. So I respect the different forms, but if I had to pick one person that just gets under my skin it would be Mitch Fatel. He’s not a bad writer, but a grown man who uses a “baby voice” creeps me the fuck out. It’s less brave to me to use a character as a shield between you and audience. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t take talent. It does, but it’s less brave to me. And I tend to be more impressed by courage and honesty.

2. What do you find it hardest to write jokes about?
My dad. I had an abusive father and while it is cathartic for me sometimes finding the balance between what makes you feel good and what makes the audience come with you is difficult – especially when you learn to understand that your experiment was much more left of center than you’d hoped. Simultaneously it can also be my favorite material when it really hits. So it is my most difficult material to write and my most satisfying.

3. Imagine that a special section of Hell exists specifically for unrepetent hecklers who ruin comedy shows. What forms of torture do you see them being subjected to for all of eternity?
My joy would be their torture. I would simply make them do stand up with comics heckling them. Turn the tables. While it doesn’t sound incredibly gratifying for me, I think it would be real torture for them — they’re most often fake bullies. Then after they bomb I’d cover their bodies in paper cuts: thin, long, deep paper cuts across every inch of their body and have ugly children throw alcohol-filled water balloons at them.

4. You see a lot of comedy shows: what are some current tropes in the comedy world you wish would die?
Prop comedy. I just don’t like distance between comic and audience.

5. What do you plan on doing with your excellent comedy skills once the global economy collapses and we’re in a survivalist zombie apocalypse / war of All against All / galactic arm-wrestling match against a race of space-faring super-aliens who look like giant versions of Lincoln Hawk? Be specific.
I would use comedy the way Indian snake charmers play flutes. I would use them to distract and confuse the zombies, and then right when they’re thinking “Oh my God, that’s SO true!” I’ll chop their heads off.

Thanks man!

Blogging Again!


It’s winter time in Berlin, meaning it’s sometime between Mid-Oktober and April. That means less gigs, less parties, more alone time, more darkness. A great thing to do in the dark aloneness: keep a blog (a weB-LOG). I had one a couple years ago, but a nasty strain of the “WE HATE PAUL SALAMONE’S BLOGGING EFFORTS” info-virus invaded it with comment spam and shut down the entire database, even the un-published naughty pictures I’d photoshopped of me engaging in various forms of adult-appropriate naughtiness with various Bavarian calen-darlings.

Anyways, after a change in service provisioners and a re-install of WordPressure, we’re back, ‘least for now. I intend to use this space to explore comedy-related and Europe-oriented issues, along with productivity-minded concepts and interview-based analysis.

You’re welcome far in advance for all the amazingness I’m already doubtful I’ll be delivering. You’ll read it though, won’t you?